Watching all those Romance Bollywood movies, whilst growing up, really succeeded in messing up my mind on how I saw and understood beauty, female beauty that is. I always wanted to marry an Indian lady. I had an untortured understanding that one quality of an average Indian woman is her charming beauty. Even if she eats only snakes (or snake flakes) or is born in a shrine or she was weaned under Hindu culture. My mind was cast on marrying a “beautiful Indian lady”. I gave up that impossible chase and aborted that dream after realising Indian men were almost equally as handsome as their women’s beauty.
Now that I’m more mature I’m aware that Bollywood, like all media, sells the image(s) they want us to see. They sold the beauty of their actresses in their movies and I bought the lie thinking all Indian women were as beautiful as Ashawariya (Miss India —-). Therefore I wanted to marry an Indian woman.
Why was I interested in marrying a beautiful woman?
I think sometimes we want to hide comfortably under the euphoria of character, we all want to marry someone beautiful, for the men. Or someone handsome, for the women. But come to think of it, I have never heard someone say he or she is sexually attracted to character. The body chemistry operates beyond attitude. They both run on or under different frequencies. Because, I think you need to be sexually attracted to whoever you want to spend the rest of your life with.
For few reasons why we want to marry someone attractive is that, there is a feeling of emotional satisfaction when beauty is appreciated often. Even if a religious man shows obvious chase on character, there is always a hidden inner voice (am not saying the Holy Spirit o) saying ‘hmm..but this girl must make sense sha’ that is, she must be presentable to family and friends. The qualities of an average girl’s “Mr Right” exist mostly in fantasies yet to be visible, ‘Hollywood miracle’. The media, to a graving extent, has made beauty, unsatisfiably achievable. People are ready to kill and to be killed, just to keep their grazing beauty. Anti-aging creams and beauty companies, has been a dependable source on peoples beauty, not minding the side effects but most importantly, seeing the ‘magic works’ on the skins of mortals.
A woman in her 50’s that has spent over 30 years experience in marriage was asked “what is the importance of beauty in a marriage? ” And she replied; “beauty will say one day,… see what time and circumstances has done to me”. Wow!, Beauty cannot save in the most challenging moments of marriage. Proverbs 31:30 said something sensitive “charm is deceitful beauty will fade. But the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. Beauty’s protection power cannot stand ugly situations of life when they come. Beauty cannot save in fire accidents, beauty cannot save in crisis, beauty cannot save in sickness, in fact, beauty cannot save your soul. It is the grace of God that saves your man’s eyes from looking lustfully at other ladies as close as your T.v screen, not your beauty.
But there is a beauty that reflects in the physical and preserves the environment it occupies. That beauty, stands incomparable in time and eternity. That beauty is beyond change and decay, it never fades. That beauty represents your identity even in your absence. That beauty gives life to lifeless situations and raises things that are long dead. That beauty is the Truth that never lies to it’s glitters. It’s presence alone gives importance to whoever or whatever it is connected to. That beauty eliminates ugly sights and decimates the darkest night with it’s infinite light. That beauty sustains time in ageless degree. That beauty is the image of God in which we were created. And who is the image of God? Jesus our LORD! “And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us” Psalms 90:17a.
The more of Jesus we have, the more of His beauty that reflects through the skins of our existence. If the beauty of the LORD is not upon your life then, your make up box is outdated under the influence of change and decay. So, always show love, look good, dress descent, keep a healthy thought, with a joyful smile, exercise regularly, eat good food (vegetables and fruits) take a lot of water, have a free mind (forgive everyone including your ugly past), relate with people with good value system, disconnect your self from time wasters, and connect yourself with time investors, have a healthy relationship with family members, and a holy relationship with the One that gave you His beauty because He trust you. What a privilege…’GOD help someone like me to follow all these’.
Remember, beauty will say one day…”see what time has done to me”. But character will also say one day with a smile of fulfillment …”see what I have invested in time, to work for me”.
So now I’m not only attracted to physical “beauty” but I’m even more attracted to the beauty that comes from within. The Proverbs 31 kind of beauty. The true kind of beauty.
I pray we all recognise and find that kind of true beauty.